Email from Teddy in Australia

Seems like Teddy is having a good time with Steve in Australia. I received this ranting over night and I’m very excited for him and happy. I understand pictures are eminent. 🙂

Golly, that was one hell of a trip…If l had been asked, previous to taking this journey, how l would have liked traveling in a post pack, l may have ignorantly suggested another way of traversing the journey to a former convict colony. However, having now arrived, l find myself in remarkably good condition and enjoying the fine weather and the intoxicating smell of flowering ginger plants. Steve, this creature whose neurosis you seem to have sent me to witness, has made me as comfortable as possible in what appears to be a former plush creature of the forest’s place of honour.
The house sitting thing he has been doing for years, l gather, as he mumbles incessantly in his sleep… ” uh .. what happens when the world drowns in it’s own filth.. oh… or worse…. the recipe for a killer marguerita is lost… ” is about to come to a great heaving end. A fraught prelude of bizarre and wanton exchanges between various lawyers and mortage brokers has finally culminated in him taking a great big breath ( he tells me that it’s ‘breath’, and as a stuffed creature of much tactile and little biological experience , l suppose l have to defer to the ‘anxious one’ on this score… the ‘breath’ he refers to is red and taken from a glass…and as frequently as l have come to know breath to be taken in my usual home) and throwing his hands in the air in an exaperated action. Sometimes l see him do a very similiar form of polyrhythmic arm throwing and hip thrashing as he barks unintelligibly into the head of a broom. Frenetically waved around the floor in a random pattern reminiscent of a micro version of crop circle production. There is always music playing as he does this. The two activities are always performed simutaneously but with no apparent correllation… Oh well… Anyway… it appears as if the white noise of people involved in the buying and selling of property is soon to finish and he is as glad about that as a pet is to hear he is being ‘tutored’ rather than the alternative beginning with ‘n’. This will be finalised on the 22.5.07… I hear him tell people on the phone there will be many attempts to vicariously lower his dear friend Seth’s leukeamia blasts by ‘breathing’ when this occurrs. He also would like you to know about a herb that he takes as a way of relieving joint pain. It is called ‘ Gotu Kola’. Steve wanders around under trees and eats two leaves of this every day as if he was a very fickle two legged bovine. He does this since a rather major dancing accident and his knee took the path of a parent telling off kids in the back seat of a car. Twisting awkwardly and.. (ohh how the sound grates…) backwards…. His knee is fine now but it has taken a while. It can be bought as a plant in a pot at nursery, often under the title of ‘ Arthritis Plant’ or under the name specified above. It is not actually specifically for arthritis but is prescribed as such in South America. Steve found out about it because he house sat for a lady who lectured in biochemistry and took it herself. She had fantastic joint mobility as did her 16 y o cat whom she fed it to too. ( 1/4 chopped up leaf on cat a day) She was 87, Steve thought she was in her early 60’s. He of the anxious disposition thinks it was integral to his knee’s complete recovery. It has something in it that helps restore the connective tissues around where your muscles attatch to your joints. He thinks it is great stuff. He is now chasing around his digital camera and l think just heard him swear. Good heavens! Where have you sent me? He has discovered that his battery is flat… Oh well… He is threatening to take photos of me and has now put on insane music whilst feeling a renewed need to self administer an intense form of breathing.. What’s that you say Steve.. ‘CPR.. Crucially Proactive Red’? Oh gawd… I have whisked up into his arm, broom in the other, audio is blaring and we are off. He assures me l will survive, not only that, apparently l will come back knowing all the words of ‘Video Killed the Radio Star’


Ted ( I heard you on the wireless back in fifty two..)

[ed: it seems Teddy’s going through a stream of consciousness/thought phase … Steve is definitely rubbing off on him! 🙂 ]


3 Responses

  1. “Imminent”, not “eminent”. If that is an example, then boy, will I ever whip your heinie in Scrabble next time I see you.

    Glad Ted is having a fun time Down Under! Do you think he will come back with an accent?


  2. Well Seth, I cannot believe the habits of your furry friend.. Nothing but endless chatter, relentless attempts to sing in tune and a spectacularly unsuccessful obsession with cleaning…

    Although he has taken quite a shine to the odd bit of lounge -arama and doesn’t mind trashy eighties music. Currently he is trying to insert ‘Bucks Fizz Anthology’ into the cd player. Must stop him there… Even l have limits…Does beg the question. Where did he find it?… Couldn’t possibly be mine…



  3. Russell has had an equally interesting adventure here. On the first Voodoo visit, I decided to hide him from Voodoo lest Voodoo decided Russell would become another one of her toys, as have many pairs of cashmere socks. On Voodoo’s latest visit, Voodoo ran right up to my bed, moved Russell aside and took her place on the bed-throne. The next day when friends came with their 8-month old toddler, Alexandra, she took hold of Russell’s nose which ended up in her mouth. Apparently, Russell tastes quite good, though I don’t think plushy Rhino steaks are kosher, so he’s safe in my home 🙂

    Russell has been watching a lot of a new television series, Heroes, which I watch regularly on my laptop in bed, as well as re-runs of Star Trek Voyager. He has a penchant for finding continuity issues in the TV shows. He is not quite as motivated as Teddy in pursuing music or media to play – he seems quite content to be entertained. I know it’s not his usual demeanor, but I have caught the wry smirk from time to time come across his face.

    Question remains – when do we have a reunion between the “families” and where. We need to think about that one after I have my transplant.

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