Wasn’t my best Saturday

I think some of the full force of the emotions around losing my dad finally hit yesterday. I was terribly depressed and sad and crying in the morning. The enormity of it was finally hitting me – not just the loss, but it’s the loss goes on when there are estate matters that need to be settled which aren’t going to be quick to resolve, which means constantly having to deal with the loss.

Then, I had some health complications yesterday. I’ve developed a lump in my lymph node. We’re not sure exactly what this is from, but I have been spiking fevers and there is some pain associated with this growth. The doctors aren’t quite sure what this is from just yet. There could be many causes and we’re monitoring it to determine next steps.

Then, there are some environmental issues. It is 80 degrees F in my room this morning! That’s just totally unreasonable. I just turned the thermostat all the way down – no wonder I’m feverish and sweating. So on top of wacky environmental controls, some brilliant person called last night at 10pm and let the phone ring 15 or 20 times. Let me assure you, that at 10pm at night, I am worthless with the amount of drugs I need to take, and given the pain and fevers from last night, that ringing was more annoying than anything else and I just couldn’t get the phone let alone talk on it. So we’re going to have some new phone rules:

1) Don’t call me after 9pm – I’m taking drugs by then to put me to sleep and I’m physically too tired to have a conversation.
2) If you call the hospital room line and I don’t answer after 4 or 5 rings, hang up – I’m not going to answer.
3) If it’s urgent, call my cell phone and leave a brief message. And speaking of cell phones – since everyone’s using that to call and leave messages, please limit the length of your message; I already have great intolerance for long, rambling messages – please keep it to 10 or 15 seconds at most (Hi, it’s XXX — give me a call back — that suffices.)

I know I’m in a bit of a cranky mood today, but I’m terribly uncomfortable and just need a little respect on the phone side of things so I don’t look at it as a curse but as a blessing to keep in touch.

Thanks, strength and love,


2 Responses

  1. Seth –

    You don’t sound terribly cranky – you sound like you are asking people to apply some (un) common sense! Clearly you are not able to keep your normal hours during this time!

    Keep doing what you’re doing and know that lots of us are out here checking in and praying.

    Love you!

  2. Seth, dear –
    Please don’t ever feel alone in this estate sorting out process. We’re here to help you and Alan in any and every way we can. We’ll talk soon, and in the meantime, just concentrate on getting better.
    Uncle Martin and Rhoda

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