Overdue update

I know it’s been a while since I wrote last. It’s been a very difficult week. I cannot begin to explain what it’s been like getting through my father’s passing while still on chemo. It took every ounce of strength I had and I was so weak at the end of the last round. I had no ability to manage any of the details, no capacity to really talk to anyone but my mom, my brother, my sister-in-law and my uncle. And just my physical energy was so sapped by the jumble of emotions, I all but slept through the past few days.

But on Monday, I came off of the second round of chemo. Instantly, my strength was back. Night and day. Not all of my strength – both mentally and physically – but substantially so. It was amazing. Almost like switching on a light bulb. And then the enormity of my dad’s passing hit hard. We organized a gathering for the hospital on Wednesday. It was small and private with my friends giving me an opportunity to best observe shivah as I could, while also observing certain rituals.

I was out of bed yesterday for several hours – first time that had happened in weeks. Probably too much time out of bed because today I’m exhausted. I feel feint like I need blood. But hydration and eating sugars are helping but I’m still a little on the weak side. I can’t even make a lap down the floor today. But getting up from my bed to the chair I’ve done a couple of times and I think I just need to do things slowly. So I’m going to rest today, get back my strength, and restart doing laps around the ward tomorrow.

Enough of an update for now. Will write more tomorrow – I promise – so I can get back in to the routine.

Thank you for everyone’s emails and comments and DVDs and books and magazines. It’s making pass the time much more enjoyable.

Strength and love …
Seth

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5 Responses

  1. you are amazing to me. i think you always have been. i have always looked up to you and i always will. your strength and determination, your beauty and your love, your wisdom and your compassion. amazing. i love you. so much.

  2. Dear Seth,

    Again, sorry about your loss. Just letting you know my thoughts and prayers are with you for a full recovery. Love , Cousin Andrea

  3. Seth!
    First of all , it was such a shock for me to hear about you. I am so sorry that it was such bad news about your terrible illness. My prayers and thoughts are with you at all times. I have often thought about you and sent you emails with no response.
    Second of all, I am sending my sincere condolences on the sad loss of your Father. I lost my Father, as you know, right before my move from NY to S.FL and eventhough that is now over 3 years ago, I always think of him and feel him nearbye.
    Your Father will guide you through your illness.
    Be strong! I wish you a full recovery from your illness.
    I found an old picture of us which somehow I have to send you. Of course then I was a brunette and now I’m a blonde! hahaha
    Take care. Love always, Irene

  4. Seth,

    How wonderful to hear your “voice” again. So much of your personality and intelligence comes through in your writing. I really missed connecting with your thoughts every day. Much as it pains me to hear about your difficult days, it is also inspiring to sense your hopefulness, strength and humor which punctuate every word.

    Gathering together some more goodies for you to help pass the time and will send another package next week.

    Thinking of you every day,

    Amy

  5. YOU ARE SUCH AN INSPIRATION TO ALL OF US. THANK YOU FOR LETTING US KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOUR TREATMENT AND YOUR FEELINGS IT IS A PRIVILEDGE TO BE LET IN TO YOUR THOUGHTS. PLEASE ACCEPT MY CONDOLENCES ON THE DEATH OF YOUR DAD. I HOPE TIME WILL HELP HEAL THE RAW WOUND. IT WAS GOOD THAT YOU SAW HIM. YOUR STRENGTH IS HELPING YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS TO STAY POSITIVE BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW THAT IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE YOU ARE RESTORED TO YOUR FORMER SUPER ENERGY! I AM GLAD THE SECOND ROUND IS OVER AND AWAIT THE NEXT STEP.
    STRENGTH AND LOVE ALWAYS
    BARBARA

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